You know those days when your moods are all over the place? You don’t know if you’re happy, sad, or whatever. It usually happens around that time of the month for me ( sorry if that’s TMI ) but my emotions have been alllll overrrrr. Which makes my anxiety worse too.. I sound like a wreck I know, but don’t judge me. I try my best to stay positive every day, but that also means I have to overlook a lot of the things that upset me. So it’s okay to have days to let it all out !! It took me a while to realize that because so many people look at me as this strong person with the most positive outlook on life. I didn’t want anyone to think otherwise either, so I hold my tears back more than I probably should. Fun fact: I’m a cry baby. I will literally cry about anything! Im just very good at hiding it. I like to cry in peace (: You’re probably wondering what’s on my mind when I just want to burst into to tears… well I’ll tell you & honestly I’ll probably cry just typing it. I’m not a very open person so this is definitely out of my comfort zone.
BUT HERE WE GO :
1. every single thing I see or try to do, I picture myself doing it normally first. Example: I see a lake or pool & I think tubing or swimming. Then I think, hold on how can I do that now and do I even want to try? Am I in the mood to ask for help?
2. I want to go somewhere, but I’m not sure if someone feels like taking me. (Sometimes I will talk myself out of it before even asking) I hate feeling like someone has to go out of their way to do something for me or with me!
3. If I could completely choose how my life was going, would I live here? Probably not. Would I be traveling all over the world? I hope so!
4. Relationships.. I’ve been single for years & my mind can’t help but go to.. if you weren’t in this situation, and they could really see the full goofy, loving person you are without this stupid injury.. you’d probably be wifed up by now ( because I’m pretty great to be honest) #selflove
5. I don’t feel like I’m living up to my full “friend” potential! I want to be there for everyone & be as supportive as I can! I would literally do anything for my friends, but I have to depend on other people to get me there. It hurts me when it doesn’t work out. (Even though most of the time I know people wouldn’t do the same for me) but that’s just my character & I can’t help it. In the long run I end up getting hurt, but I just haaaad to get a good heart, so I guess that’s one of the downfalls.
If I tried to list out everything that went through my head everyday I’d have to write a novel. So I’m gonna keep it short and to the point. I just want everyone to know that even though I’m a positive person, I still have my struggles. It’s okay to cry! Just let it out, move on, and continue trying to live your best life! I’ll be trying right there with you(: