Get Out Of Your Head

I know I’ve been away from this for a little while and not posting nearly as much as I should. Honestly, I’ve been in a funk lately. Having so many things on my mind that I want to do, but not knowing how to do them or where to start. Living with SCI complicates things a bit and causes my thinking to be way more stressful than it should be. That tends to make me talk myself out of doing something before I even get started. My mind is my best and worst friend. Sometimes I think “I know exactly what I want to do! I just need to do this, this, and this. Simple. You got this.” Other times it’s, “Well I’ll need someone to take me, or set this up, or what if it’s a complete flop and I really don’t know what I’m doing.” There are definitely a few added steps for me to accomplish what I want to do, (considering how much help I really need). It also doesn’t help that I’ve had so many people come in and out of my life that I thought were going to be true friends. My mind now assumes that everything is temporary. Which makes it that much more difficult to make new friends and go after my dreams. If I can sort out my thoughts and see exactly what’s holding me back, why can’t I just change my way of thinking? Going after my dreams would be for me, not anyone else. So why do I let what others have done in my past affect my life now? Good question. I don’t freakin know. I’m trying my best to win this everyday battle with my mind so I can truly be happy. A friend told me to make a list of things I want to change or do, start checking things off, and eventually I’ll get to where I want to be. I love writing and sharing it with everyone, but I feel like I really need to take time to myself. So I apologize in advance if I take some time in between each post. I’m ready to know exactly what I’m doing instead of being all over the place with different ideas. As always thank you for the love and support 💜


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